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”Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn’t find the “CALL” button.Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?A: She can’t find the elevenQ: How does a black girl tell if she is pregnant?A: When she pulls the tampon out all the cotton is picked.Q: What do you call white people running down a hill?A: An avalanche.Q: What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?A: A mudslide.Q: What do you call black people running down a hill?A: A jail break.A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, “Ready, aim, tornado!” Afraid of an approaching. ..ohhh what is happening...he pulled his mouth just offof mine and whispered"Another finger, slut"I nodded slightly as he pulled our fingers out of my wet slowly openinghole..I was still so tight...then I took my middle and ring finger andpushed it into me...letting him know with a little yelp of pain fromthe stretch as I nodded yes yes Daddy I did it.....he kissed me againas he slowly added first one, then two of his much thicker fingers,forcing me open around him and resting his hand on mine...I moanedloudly this time with our mouths locked together, tongues intertwined.The stretch was heavy now, when you can start to feel your muscles openand contract..letting go..letting go of fear and accepting...holdinghands inside my little pussy omg Daddy yes yes make me make me pleaseDaddy I thought while kissing him, making out like teenagers..He started to pull up inside me now, forcing me to stretch my hole,first pulling up hard raising me onto my toes then around in a circleand back again.
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’ Placing a hand on her shoulder, he gently shook. ‘Can you hear me, Ma’am? You’re safe now. I’m just going to check your wounds.’ Tom’s eyes scanned her arms and legs for evidence of fractures. They were long limbs, long and lithe. ‘What’s your name?’ He waited a few moments for any response. Somewhere in the past, he’d read an article about comatose patients who woke up and remembered people who’d talked to them. The stress and pressure of the situation tapped a nervous vein of adrenaline and Tom felt compelled to explain, ‘I don’t know if you can hear me. My name is Thomas DuBois. You’re going to be all right.’ Tom’s eyes wandered over her breasts, passed her bellybutton ring and then stopped on her dark tuft of matted pubic hair. For the first time, he felt responsible for someone else’s life, and it scared him. ‘This is fucked up. I’m out here looking for my guardian-spirit, and instead a naked woman falls out of the sky. This was not an option.’ A tingle on his cheek made him.

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